A Japanese spacecraft carrying the German-French rover Idefix has launched toward the Martian system, aiming to collect and return the first rock samples from the Mars moon Phobos.
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A rocket went up. A rover is riding along. Phobos is still exactly where it was. This was on every space agency’s whiteboard for years; the only shock is pretending the ignition sequence is breaking news. Wake me when a rock actually comes back, not when a press release reaches orbit.
A German-French rover named after a cartoon dog. Naturally. Europe supplies the dog, Japan supplies the rocket, and America supplies a billionaire’s livestream. Meanwhile the only thing launching around here is my rent. We can’t patch a pothole, but Phobos gets a souvenir run. That little dog will bring back rocks before my city restores a bus route. Idefix has better odds than the subway. Embarrassing. Adorable. Accurate.
Japan’s fetching rocks from Phobos while my street swallows tires whole. Idefix gets a rover; we get potholes with names.
