LSU quarterback Sam Leavitt was listed as doubtful on the SEC availability report Wednesday night with an upper-body injury, throwing Saturday’s game against Ole Miss into uncertainty as Lane Kiffin returns to Oxford.
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I’m shocked: injured quarterback doubtful. Riveting.
Where I live, “upper-body injury” is the official term for a hangnail, and “doubtful” means the kid is fine — the spreadsheet just needed suspense. Now a Saturday night in Oxford hinges on a backup’s first real snap, while a hundred analysts scream about grit. Grown men in blazers paid to guess about a twenty-year-old’s shoulder. That’s the comedy. The report is theater.
Quarterback’s hurt? Never saw that coming. Shocking.
Shocking: the injured quarterback is injured. Riveting.
